My parents divorced when I was three. My dad remarried and had a beautiful new family. They were happy. For years, I blamed myself for the divorce and thought… I wasn’t good enough.
I was a rebellious teenager and had low self-esteem. I made stupid decisions. The divorce, although it may have contributed to my issues, did not give me an excuse to hurt others. These were my choices, and I was a mess.
Then, my life changed. I met my one-of-a-kind husband.
We began dating, and I told him about all my mistakes. ALL. THE. UGLY. It hurt saying it out loud.
He responded, without hesitation, “You’re human. We all make mistakes. God still loves you.”
No one had ever said those words to me. I had been judged, others tried to fix me or make excuses for my choices. Not him – he accepted me. The real (not-so-great) me.
After that, I truly understood “grace” — undeserved kindness. And, I knew he was a keeper!
When we were newly married, my past still haunted me. I was afraid I would be a statistic. The lies in my head were… You are a child of divorce. You’ve made so many mistakes. How can you be good enough to deserve a wonderful husband and healthy marriage?
Even though I was thankful for my husband, we struggled. Argued. Cried together. Soldiered through having babies and wrestled with how to parent. Real-life, normal character-building stuff.
Fast forward 16 years, and I can finally see the positive that came from the divorce. God took my pain and turned it to good.
- I have a bond with my mom that will never be broken – single moms are the hardest working people I know. Here’s an up-close and personal post about the tough job of a single momma: To the Single Mom: You are my Hero
- I have two amazing half-siblings. A whole new family. And now, three adorable nephews. Major perks!
- I was blessed with a sweet step-mom. Two weeks after I had a life-changing call with her and my dad, we went on vacation to have a “do over” for our relationship. Time to rebuild. She had a massive stroke that weekend. You can read the full story here: Please Don’t Die
- My marriage is a blessing. Not perfect. We still have struggles. But, it’s based on our faith in God with real, honest communication.
God can turn bad choices into good.
“He turned the intended curse into a blessing because the Lord your God loves you.” Deuteronomy 23:5
Here’s what I want you to remember when you’re asking yourself, Am I good enough?
- Your past mistakes don’t define who you are. They shape you, mold you, but they don’t define you.
- You are not a statistic until you’re a statistic.
- If you are a child of divorce, that does not define your marriage. You are you. The past does not have to repeat itself.
- You are forgiven. Forgive yourself.
- Share your story, it helps others who are struggling with the same issues. You are never alone in your struggle.
- YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. You are.
Great post Mandy, straight from the heart!
I love this Mandy. It’s so hard to believe sometimes that God could love us despite our deepest and most shameful mistakes. What a testimony and a great reminder that his grace is enough. We are never so bad that God won’t love us.
Super amen to this!! I am so moved by your testimony. Thank you so much for sharing this. I know it will help many who have walked down that path and can relate. I am so grateful to God that He can use your past to give someone else hope in their future!
Thank you so much for the encouragement! Even as I was writing, I thought — what qualifies me to even write this? My low self-esteem almost took over. But, God created this story! He made all this possible so I’m going to share it 🙂 I am so, so grateful to Him for everything!
Great post. I never looked at you as having low self esteem. You always succeeded in everything you did! satan is a liar, he wants to steal our joy and make us weak so we cant forward God’s kingdom! Don’t listen to his lies! You are an amazing person, wish we were closer! Have a great weekend!
Me’Chele — Thank you! When I was younger, I did try to be perfect. I thought if I was good enough, everyone would love me. The older I got, though, the worse my decisions. I’m glad we had moved away & you didn’t know me during this time 🙂 I have so many regrets! I’m thankful for God’s blessings and forgiveness, I don’t deserve it.