It happened many years ago at a work picnic. My husband and I were talking to some executives from the company where my husband worked. These men and women were the boss of the boss of my husband’s boss. My husband was just starting his career, he was low on the totem-pole and these social events were a new world to us.

One of the older couples stuck out. They were sweet, talkative and had been married many years. They shared about their upcoming retirement, and the guys had a great time chatting about old cars. You know, their fantasy toy cars. {Please tell me my husband is not the only one!}

Snooze.

Then, the conversation shifted and the wife said loudly to all of us, “My husband has no clue about what we can and can’t afford. He has no financial discipline. He has no concept of what we actually need for retirement, that’s why I am in charge of our finances.”

Cringe.

Years have passed, and I still cringe. The husband’s shoulders sunk, his cheeks turned rosy red. He was speechless. Tension filled the room. We sensed his embarrassment, and an awkward silence followed.

All I wanted to do was hug him. And, scream at her.

I kept my mouth shut.

He looked like a helpless bruised, shamed teddy bear.

Shortly thereafter, they left the party. My mind raced about the fight they were having.

I couldn’t help but think … That’s Wife 101. She knew better.

As we were headed home that evening, I had a range of emotions.

First, I felt guilty about judging her. I don’t know what transpired before this party. Perhaps she was fully justified with her feelings. Regardless, it still was not the time to talk about his shortcomings.

It is easy to see flaws in others, right? But, the Bible tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:15, “Look for the best in each other.”

I need to work on that.

Then, I started to self-reflect. I needed to ask my husband:

Have I ever made you feel disrespected?

But, I was afraid of his response.

Rick Warren says, “The quality of your life will be determined by the kind of questions you have the courage to ask yourself.”

I finally asked my husband, and it led to a great, lengthy conversation about love and respect. I was reminded to watch my words and think before I speak.

“Each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Ephesians 5:13

 So, remember that question I finally got the courage to ask my husband…

What would your husband say?